What’s Left When Everything Falls Away? Discovering Your True Self
There was a moment in my life that changed everything—a moment when the question Who am I? became so much more than an abstract idea. It became real.
It happened after giving birth to my daughter. Following the delivery, I began hemorrhaging and came dangerously close to losing my life. As the medical team worked to save me, I was no longer aware of my body or the world around me. What I was aware of, however, was something far greater—a deep, unshakable peace and light that seemed to encompass everything.
Even though I wasn’t experiencing the physical world, I was still there. The light, the presence, the stillness—I was in it, but I was also it.
That experience left me changed, but it also left me searching. I started asking myself the question: Who am I?
At first, I tried to answer it the way most of us do—by naming what’s familiar.
Am I my body? That didn’t feel right, because my body is always changing. It’s not the same body I had yesterday, last year, or when I was born.
Am I my thoughts? My feelings? No, those are fleeting. They come and go like clouds passing through the sky.
Am I my roles—a mother, a wife, a coach? No. These are things I do, not who I am.
So, who am I?
The question grew deeper. If I am not the body that was unconscious on the table, not the roles I play, and not the emotions or thoughts that change from moment to moment, who experienced the light?
Who sees what I am seeing?
Who thinks what I am thinking?
Who hears what I am hearing?
Who is witnessing all of this?
Eight years later, it truly clicked and I finally understood.
I am not the body. I am not the thoughts. I am not the experiences. I am the one who witnesses them all.
The Truth of Who We Are
That light I experienced after giving birth wasn’t something separate from me—it was me. It wasn’t just a moment of peace; it was a glimpse of my true nature: the eternal, unchanging consciousness that is always present, always aware, and always whole.
This realization is both freeing and grounding. It means that no matter what happens in life—no matter how my body changes, how my thoughts race, or how circumstances unfold—there is a part of me that remains untouched. That part is the watcher, the witness, the light.
Think about your thoughts. When you have a happy or sad moment, a stressful day, or an exciting breakthrough, there’s always a part of you that notices it. That part doesn’t judge or participate—it just observes. When you experience an overwhelming emotion, like anger or love, something within you knows you are feeling it. That knowing—that awareness—is who you truly are.
This unchanging presence is not unique to me. Beneath the noise of the mind and the temporary experiences of the physical world, there is an unchanging awareness that simply is.
Living From the Light
Recognizing this truth doesn’t mean life becomes perfect. It doesn’t erase challenges or difficult emotions. What it does is offer a new way of being—a way to step back, observe, and remember that you are not the storm; you are the sky holding it.
Here are a few ways to connect with this truth in your everyday life:
Ask the Question
Spend time reflecting on the question, Who am I? Strip away the labels, roles, and temporary aspects of your life. Sit with the question and allow the answers to come from within.
Notice the Witness
Throughout your day, notice the part of you that is watching your thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Remind yourself: I am the one witnessing all of this. I am not the thoughts or feelings—I am the observer.
For example, when you catch yourself thinking, “I’m so frustrated,” pause and notice the part of you that knows you are frustrated. That awareness isn’t frustrated—it’s simply noticing.
Find Stillness
Take time to sit in silence or meditate. Focus on your breath, letting your awareness rest on the simple fact that you are. In those quiet moments, you may begin to feel the light of your true self shining through.
Stay Connected With Reflective Questions
When you feel disconnected, ask yourself:
Who is aware of this thought?
Who is noticing this feeling?
Who is observing my actions right now?
These questions gently guide you back to the awareness that is always present.
The Light Is Always There
The light I experienced wasn’t something I needed to find—it was already within me. And it’s within you, too. Beneath everything we think defines us, there is an eternal presence that has always been and will always be.
When you ask the question Who am I? and sit with the answers, you may find that the light you’ve been searching for is the one that’s been shining all along.
You are not your body.
You are not your thoughts.
You are not your roles or your experiences.
You are the light.
You are the witness.
You are.
